therapy Archives - Therapy and Mindfulness

How to Make Worry Stones

August 27, 2017 by Meghan Renzi

Worry Stones

I recently posted a photo of some “worry stones” I made on Instagram and I received a lot of positive feedback, as well as questions about how to make these magical stones.

I cannot take credit for the invention of worry stones. I learned about worry stones while working in a partial hospitalization program for adolescents. We made worry stones as a group activity and also gave them out as a distress tolerance tool for the teens.

A worry stone can be used as a grounding tool if you are feeling “up in your head”, angry or anxious. Rubbing a worry stone between your index finger and thumb can be a way to bring you make to the here and now.

A great thing about these worry stones is that they are small enough to fit in your pocket and the movement of rubbing your fingers together is so subtle that no one will even know you are using a coping skill! Also, the process of making worry stones can be therapeutic in and of itself.

Here is what you will need to make your very own batch of worry stones:

I purchase everything on Amazon but you can also go to your local craft store

Assorted colors of bakeable clay (I use Sculpy)

Sculpy glaze (optional)

Sparkles or Sparkle dust

An oven

A baking pan

Your hands

That’s it!

Okay, now how to make them….

Preheat the oven to 275 degrees.
Break a few pieces off of 2-4 colors and swirl together. (There is definitely a sweet spot in terms of when to stop mixing. Too much mixing can make the color turn out muddy).
Roll your clay mixture into a ball a little larger than a quarter.
Press your thumb into the ball so the piece of clay forms into a bowl shape but also gives you a nice spot to rub your thumb. (You can make as many as you want!!)
Once you have made your worry stones you can place them on your baking sheet about 1 inch apart.
Bake for 15 minutes.
Once you have allowed your stones to cool, you can choose to add sparkle dust or your glaze.

Now that you are done, you can keep some for yourself or give them out as gifts!

Please send me a message and let me know how they turn out 🙂

Namaste.

Filed Under: Child, coping skills, mental health, Mind Body Connection, Mindfulness, parenting, parents, Self Awareness, teenagers, teens, Therapy Tagged With: anger management, anxiety, coping skills, distress tolerance, mindfulness, parenting, therapy

5 Reasons You Should Give Therapy a Try

June 15, 2017 by Meghan Renzi

Why Therapy?

Whether or not you are suffering from a diagnosed mental health condition, therapy can be a helpful tool. Life is full of surprises. Changes in health, family dynamics or a romantic relationship can be difficult to navigate. Seeking support from a mental health professional, outside of your family or friends, should never be viewed as something to be ashamed of. As humans, social interaction is an important component to mental health. The idea that you should be able to deal with certain pains in life on your own is a false one.

Here are a few ways therapy can help:

You get an outside perspective. Having an objective person share their observations during a personal dilemma is often helpful, especially when you may be too emotionally invested to see the big picture. For some, it can be difficult to admit that we are struggling, even to our closest companions. Your therapist is legally and ethically obligated to keep your information and what you share in session confidential. Additionally, your therapist can hold you accountable so you can stay on track with your goals.
Cognitive behavioral therapy can help. One of the hallmarks of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is identifying the negative thinking patterns that can distort our reality. A CBT oriented therapist can help her patient to recognize these thought distortions. CBT also points to the relationship between our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. If you can change your thinking, eventually you can change your response to certain distressing situations.
The power of the relationship. Carl Rogers, the father of “person-centered” or humanistic therapy, posits that there are three essential ingredients of a successful therapeutic relationship – unconditional positive regard, genuineness, and empathy. The act of stating your feelings out loud to another person can help you to hear what you are actually saying and feel like a release. For this reason, having a nonjudgemental person there to hold the space can be therapeutic in and of itself.
Therapy can give you tools for dealing with life. Maybe you have some bad habits you are trying to break or you are tired of blowing up at your significant other. A trained mental health professional can help you identify coping strategies to manage difficult encounters. In therapy, time can be spent exploring certain triggers, communication patterns and automatic negative thoughts which could be at the root of these maladaptive behaviors.
Therapy rewires the brain. The results are well documented. People who engage in therapy become more self-aware, report increased self-esteem and develop more positive habits. Over time, therapy can change the way you think. Why? Recognizing your own thought patterns is the first step to changing them.

Some things to keep in mind:

Therapy is a process, not a quick fix. In most therapy settings, the goal is for the client to be able to implement changes in their life, outside of the office. A successful therapy case takes work from both therapist and client. It can take some time to build a relationship with your therapist and for a lot of people, it may take some time to find someone who is a good fit.

If you are struggling, ask for help. Remember you don’t have to do anything alone.

Dealing with stress

September 15, 2016 by Meghan Renzi

slide4B&W Back to school time got you stressed? Fall can be a busy time for everyone, whether or not you have kids or are a kid! Traffic gets worse, fickle weather, and people are generally doing more.

Here are a few tips to help keep things in perspective!

Oftentimes when we feel overwhelmed, we tend to neglect our most basic human needs. If you are feeling a sense of impending doom or things are getting to be too much, pause and check your body.

Ask yourself these questions:

Am I hydrated? According to the Mayo Clinic, even mild dehydration can leave your body feeling tired. Drinking water is one of the best ways to ensure that you are hydrated, but remember that other beverages and foods (mainly fruits and vegetables) also contain water and contribute to hydration.

Am I hungry? I get it. Sometimes when I’m “in the zone” I forget to eat. For me personally, I have to keep snacks with me at all times. Try keeping a jar of peanut butter at your desk, or a granola bar in your purse. Even just downing some crackers or a cheese stick can really change your perspective. Although it is tempting, try to avoid candy, soda, and over-snacking.

Am I tired? The sad truth is that most of us don’t get enough sleep. We live in a society where productivity is encouraged, which often sends us the subtle message that our basic human needs are not important. According to The National Sleep Foundation, growing teens need 8-10 hours of sleep. Adults need 7-9 hours. Remember Abraham Maslow from Psych 101? He classified sleep as one of our most basic needs, along with food and water. It is a need, not a want people! So whether you feel the urge to pull an all nighter studying, stay up late binge watching Netflix, or party ’til the sun comes up—remember your body needs sleep to function and you will be feeling it the next day!

Consider the big picture. Take a moment to pause. Maybe take a walk outside, look at the trees, look at the sky. There is a great big world out there. Ask yourself: “how important is this issue in the grand scheme of things?” Ask yourself: “will this be haunting me 1 year from now?” Answering these questions truthfully will really help you keep things in perspective.

Another important thing to consider: Are you in the problem or are you in the solution? Go for a walk, call a friend, listen to your favorite song or podcast, read something inspirational, or have a snack. When I focus on the problem, the problem gets bigger. When I am doing solution oriented things, I don’t have to live in the problem. Sometimes the best thing to do is to “get out of the way” and focus on something productive. Things will often work themselves out.

Filed Under: Mind Body Connection, Mindfulness, Self Awareness, Thoughts Tagged With: back to school, distress tolerance, human needs, hydration, living in the solution, mind body connection, mindfulness, negativity bias, sleep, stress, stress management, therapy, thought patterns

What to say to a child who self harms.

September 11, 2016 by Meghan Renzi

bubbleFAQs Finding out your child has been self harming can be one of the most terrifying experiences. The first reaction for most parents is anger. You might ask yourself “Why is this happening?”, “Who is responsible?” You might even blame yourself or your partner. Being confronted with the reality that your child is intentionally hurting herself is a scary one.

Here are a few things to remember:

Do not yell or punish. Your child may naturally feel that you are “against” her. Oftentimes self harming is used as a tool to self soothe, and we all know that yelling is not at all soothing to someone who is already in pain. Instead offer healthy alternatives, not as a reward, but rather to let your child know you are willing to work with them.
Respond in a calm way–even though you may feel like screaming. Take a moment (or a few) to compose yourself. Practice some deep breathing. Remember that you are the parent. It is imperative that you remain in control. By remaining calm you are not condoning the behavior. You are coming from a stable place that is more likely to ensure open communication with your child.
Do not give in. While self harm is often a sign of extreme internal suffering, it can also be used as a tool to get certain “needs” met. You may often hear people referring to self harm as “manipulative”, and while some children may use this as a manipulation, this is not the case for all children who self harm. Whatever the intent, we do not want to reinforce this behavior by giving in.
Talk openly with your child by starting a conversation. Openly express your feelings. Try using “I feel statements”. For example “I feel scared when you harm yourself, I need you to come to me next time you feel like hurting yourself”. Acknowledge your child’s pain. You can say “I see that you are suffering” or “I am sorry that you felt like you had to do that. What do you need right now?”
Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, educate yourself. Do your own research and consult with professionals. Keep your child’s psychiatrist, therapist and primary care doctor up to date on anything concerning your child’s mental health. If you do not have a mental health provider and you are unsure of what to do, take your child to your local crisis center or emergency room to request a mental health evaluation.

Always come from a place of love. Remember that you care about your child, which is why this can be so scary. It is important to remember that you are not alone, and there are many parents out there working through these same issues.

For more reading check out the Adolescent Self Injury Foundation, which has great tips for kids and parents affected by self injury. You can also search for articles on Psych Central and Psychology Today.

Filed Under: communication, parents, self harm, teens Tagged With: adolescents, communicating with your child, cutting, parenting teens, self-harm, teens, therapy