Why You Should Practice Making Mistakes

September 23, 2025 by Meghan Renzi

Perfectionism promises excellence—but all too often, it delivers anxiety and self-doubt. What if part of the cure is doing the opposite of perfect?

What if making mistakes on purpose could actually help you grow stronger?

Why Perfectionism Holds You Back

Perfectionists set extremely high standards and often believe that self-worth depends on meeting them. Fear of mistakes keeps you stuck: you procrastinate, overwork, or avoid taking any action unless conditions are “just right.” Many experts believe that perfectionism is closely tied to shame. For example, if I do this perfectly, I can avoid criticism and therefore shame.

When things don’t go perfectly, self-criticism spikes, and the internal dialogue can become harsh: you blame yourself, second-guess your decisions, and ruminate on what went wrong.

Exposure Therapy: A Tool from Psychology

In therapy, there’s a technique called exposure therapy — the idea is to slowly and intentionally face what makes you anxious or afraid, learning to handle it over time. Gradually, the fear loses its power. You desensitize yourself to what was causing so much anxiety.

Applied to perfectionism, one approach is to practice making mistakes. Doing so teaches you that you can survive imperfection, that discomfort doesn’t kill you, and that sometimes, things turn out okay even when they aren’t “perfect.”

How to Practice “Mistake Exposures”

Here are some small steps to try:

Send an email with a minor typo.
Let an assignment be “good enough” instead of endlessly editing it.
Share an unfinished draft with a colleague or group member without obsessing over design or details.
Try a new activity, knowing you might look silly.
Create something imperfect.

Click here for a more extensive list

Each time, notice what happens. Are people mad? Probably not. Does your anxiety spike? Maybe. But you’ll learn you can cope. Over time, the anxiety lessens, and you grow confidence. A great mantra for anxiety is “I can handle this.”

What Research Tells Us

Recent studies show that intentional failure helps reduce the fear of mistakes. In one experiment, perfectionistic participants intentionally made errors (e.g., spelling mistakes, messing up tasks) so they could get used to being imperfect. Over time, they reported fewer fears, less avoidance, and less distress when things didn’t go “just right.” (Psychology Today)

Putting It Into Practice (Tips)

Start small. Begin with low-stakes mistakes — don’t jump straight to sending a public presentation with glaring errors.
Plan exposures. Decide beforehand what you’ll allow yourself to mess up and how you’ll handle the discomfort.
Practice self-compassion. Whether the mistake is intentional or accidental, treat yourself kindly. You’re doing valuable work.
Reflect. After an exposure, write or think: What did I feel? What was worse than I imagined? What was better? What did I learn?

Final Thoughts

Perfectionism isn’t just a drive for excellence — it keeps you trapped from living the life you want. Making mistakes on purpose is your way out. It’s a way to reclaim your power, to see yourself as human, capable, and resilient. You deserve to live a life where “good enough” doesn’t feel like failure — it feels like freedom.

If you’re feeling “not good enough” or find yourself obsessing over how others perceive you, I can help. I have openings for new clients and would love to support you on this journey. Feel free to hit the Contact button to schedule a free 15-minute consultation.

Filed Under: anxiety, cognitive behavioral therapy, coping skills, perfectionism, Self Awareness, self-esteem, teens, Therapy, Thoughts Tagged With: anxiety, CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy, exposure therapy, mental health, perfectionism, teens

Making Peace with the Unknown: How to Handle Life’s Uncertainty

September 17, 2025 by Meghan Renzi

Why Uncertainty Feels Hard

Uncertainty is one of the hardest things for our brains to handle. We crave control, clear answers, and knowing what’s coming next. When life feels unpredictable — whether it’s waiting for test results, navigating a new job, or figuring out a relationship — our minds can go into overdrive, trying to solve a puzzle with missing pieces.

But here’s the truth: life is full of uncertainty. Learning to tolerate it — not just push through it, but actually live well with it — is one of the most powerful skills you can build.

Why Our Brains Struggle with the Unknown

Our brains are prediction machines, wired to scan for danger and make plans. This survival mechanism was helpful in the past, but in today’s world, it often leads to unnecessary anxiety.

Lack of control triggers anxiety. We think that if we can just plan well enough, we can prevent bad things from happening. This false belief can intensify distress, especially when things go wrong despite our best efforts.

We exhaust ourselves trying to “figure it out.” Overthinking, Googling obsessively, ruminating, and seeking reassurance are all ways we try to avoid the discomfort of not knowing.

The Cost of Avoiding Uncertainty

Avoiding uncertainty comes at a price. Constantly checking emails, texts, and social media may feel soothing temporarily, but it actually ramps up anxiety over time. Overthinking and over-researching can lead to analysis paralysis, keeping us stuck and preventing action.

Trying to control the future is like running through a maze with no exit — because there’s no way to know anything for certain. The more we chase certainty, the more trapped and exhausted we feel.

Practical Strategies for Tolerating Uncertainty

1. Name It
Say to yourself, “I do not know what comes next. I am dealing with uncertainty.” Naming it helps your brain step back and observe rather than react. Most of life is uncertain — yet every day, you manage to get through it.

2. Shift Your Focus to the Present
When the outcome is beyond your control, focus on what is within your control today. One small, grounding action — a walk, a breathing exercise, or tidying a space — can keep you anchored in the present.

3. Practice “Uncertainty Exposures”
Like with perfectionism, you can build tolerance by practicing uncertainty in safe ways:

Go to a new restaurant without checking the menu first.
Send an email with a small typo.
Let a text sit unanswered for an hour.
Resist checking tracking info for an order.

Each time you do this, you learn that discomfort doesn’t last forever — and the worst-case scenario rarely happens.

4. Journal & Reality-Check Your Thoughts
Do a quick brain dump of anxious or racing thoughts. Then ask yourself:

“What am I telling myself right now?”
“Is that really true?”

Your feelings are always valid, but your thoughts aren’t always facts. This practice helps you identify which thoughts are helpful and which you can let go of.

5. Practice Self-Compassion
Remind yourself: It’s normal to feel anxious about uncertainty. Everyone struggles with it at times. Feeling anxious doesn’t mean you’re weak — it means you’re human.

Reframing Uncertainty

Uncertainty doesn’t always mean something bad is coming — it simply means the future is still unwritten. “Anything could happen” is a neutral statement, open to multiple possibilities.

Sometimes what you fear turns out better than you imagined. If you always knew the outcome, life would be pretty predictable — maybe even boring. Resilience grows when we face what we can’t control and still move forward.

Moving Forward

Uncertainty may never feel completely comfortable, but it can become tolerable — and even become a place where growth happens. Each time you choose to sit with not knowing, you build strength, patience, and courage. Over time, uncertainty transforms from a threat into an open door, inviting you to step forward with confidence.

Filed Under: anxiety, cognitive behavioral therapy, coping skills, mental health, Mindfulness, perfectionism, Self Awareness, Therapy Tagged With: anxiety, cognitive behavioral therapy, mental health, perfectionism, stress management, teen therapy, uncertainty

4 Ways to Break Free from the Cycle of Perfectionism

September 11, 2025 by Meghan Renzi

The Perfectionism Trap

You see it everywhere — on your Insta feed, in group chats, in the way people talk about their endless to-do lists and self-improvement goals. You’re told to eat cleaner, work harder, travel more, work out more, glow up, and somehow have the time and energy to have fun. And honestly? It’s exhausting.

Perfectionism tricks you into thinking that if you just hit the next goal — lose 10 pounds, pick the perfect career, and keep your skincare routine flawless — then you’ll finally feel okay. But is this actually making you happy, or just making you tired?

What Perfectionism Does to You

Living in “must be perfect” mode doesn’t just push you to work harder — it can wear you down. You might notice:

Beating yourself up for tiny mistakes.
Trouble relaxing because there’s always “more” you should be doing.
Comparing yourself to everyone else’s highlight reel and feeling behind.
Pushing yourself until you burn out — then blaming yourself for being tired.

Perfectionism can feel productive, but it’s often fueled by fear — fear of failing, fear of not measuring up, or fear of being “too much” or “not enough.” According to an article in Psychology Today, “Maladaptive perfectionism is often driven by fear of failure, feelings of unworthiness, low self-esteem, and adverse childhood experiences.”

How to Break the Cycle

The good news? Perfectionism doesn’t have to run your life. You can have big goals and show yourself some grace along the way.

Here are four practical tools to help you step out of the perfectionism trap:

1. Ground Yourself

Stop. Put your phone down. Take one deep, slow breath. Give yourself five seconds and just pause.

This is your reset button — a chance to step off autopilot and decide what actually matters right now. In this moment, remind yourself: you are safe. Nothing is on fire.

2. Ask What YOU Want

Perfectionism is sneaky — it makes you chase what you think you’re supposed to want. Pause and ask:

“Is this really for me, or because I think I should?”
“What do I actually want for my life right now?”

Then act on it. Add in the things that bring you joy, even if they feel “cringe” or unconventional. Your life doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s to be meaningful.

3. Journal & Reality-Check Your Thoughts

When your mind feels noisy, try a quick brain dump: write down every anxious, judgmental, or racing thought swirling around. Then take a moment to reflect:

“What am I telling myself right now?”
“Is that really true?”

Your feelings are always valid, but your thoughts aren’t always facts. Writing them out helps you notice which thoughts are helpful and which you can let go of.

4. Practice Making Mistakes

One of the best ways to loosen perfectionism’s grip is to practice making mistakes — on purpose. This is a form of exposure therapy, where we intentionally face the things that trigger us, little by little, to build resilience.

For perfectionism, this might look like:

Sending an email with a small typo.
Posting a photo on social media that isn’t perfectly curated or facetuned.
Submitting an assignment that is “good enough” instead of endlessly revising it.

Each time you do this, you teach your brain that imperfection is survivable — and often, not nearly as catastrophic as it feels in the moment.

When to Talk to Someone

If perfectionism is affecting your mental health, relationships, or ability to enjoy life, it may be time to reach out for support.

Therapy can help you understand where this pressure is coming from, quiet negative self-talk, and build tools to live a life that actually feels good — not just one that looks good.

If you are struggling with feeling “not good enough”, please do not hesitate to reach out. You don’t have to do this alone!

Click here if you are ready to get started.

Filed Under: cognitive behavioral therapy, coping skills, mental health, perfectionism, Self Awareness, self-esteem, social media, teens, Therapy Tagged With: anxiety, cognitive behavioral therapy, perfectionism, shame, teens, young adult

Your Questions Answered: How Yoga Can Help Your Mental Health.

September 22, 2017 by Meghan Renzi

What is Yoga?

I cannot tell you how many times I hear people say “I can’t do yoga I am not flexible”. The truth is yoga is not just about the poses! The word “yoga” actually comes from the phrase “to yoke” or to bring together. Yoga is a way to connect mind, body, and breath. Because this mindful practice includes breath control, centering, and physical movement, it is often referred to as a “moving meditation”. Yoga does not have to be bending into a pretzel or that classic image of svelte models effortlessly floating into dancer pose.

The physical health benefits are numerous and well documented in medical journals. A regular yoga practice is associated with improved cardiovascular health, relief from chronic pain, arthritis and better sleep, in addition to improving muscle strength and posture. Awareness of breath helps you to slow down your thoughts and incorporate more body awareness.

Okay, so what about the mental health benefits?

Most people are aware that practicing yoga will calm your body down. Having a mindfulness practice can also encourage you to stay present with whatever is happening. Oftentimes we are wrapped up in what has happened in the past or what we believe will happen in the future. I can speak for myself when I say that I often get carried away with my thoughts, worries, and “What Ifs”.

Coming back into your breath can take the focus out of your head and into your body. Something magical happens when you connect with your body. Staying in the moment allows you be open to all of the wonderful possibilities your life has to offer.

How can yoga help my depression?

Most of us know that physical exercise is beneficial to one suffering from depression. Yoga is awesome because it incorporates mindfulness with the movement that does not have to be strenuous. Often in depression, the sufferer will experience lethargy, rumination, feelings of sadness and lack of motivation. Practicing yoga and meditation can combat these symptoms and even increase production of feel-good chemicals in the brain like GABA, dopamine, and serotonin. The practices of yoga and meditation have been noted to activate these neurotransmitters that help regulate mood.

What about my anxiety?

Yoga is a great exercise for someone dealing with anxiety. Often people who suffer from anxiety disorders are preoccupied with what is going on in their heads. Predicting unpleasant events and re-living uncomfortable situations are common for those who struggle with anxiety. Yoga allows space to notice that right now, in this moment, everything is okay. Patients who have been diagnosed with panic disorders and other anxiety disorders, typically have decreased GABA activity in the brain. The chemicals that are released in the brain during a yoga class have been compared to the effects of the Benzodiazepine class of anti-anxiety medication.

I am struggling with addiction. Can yoga help me?

Having a yoga practice can definitely be a helpful supplement to addiction treatment and recovery programs. As stated earlier, Yoga and other mindfulness practices can increase blissful chemicals in the brain like GABA, dopamine, and serotonin, which can be responsible for that post-yoga class euphoric feeling. Additionally, having a routine can be beneficial for anyone dealing with a mental health concern. Adding yoga to your schedule can give you something to look forward to and keep you busy in a positive way.

Do kids and teens benefit from yoga?

Absolutely. In fact, yoga can help children to be more aware of the way their bodies move, while also building comfort with those growing bodies. Teaching mindful movement and meditation to younger children will allow them to learn to focus and be present. Integrating breath and movement can also help with emotional regulation. For teens, yoga can help improve self-esteem by increasing body gratitude and building a sense of community.

How often should I practice?

If I could practice every day I totally would! I think incorporating some kind of mindful exercise whether it is meditation, yoga or prayer, can be a helpful way to start the day. If it starts to feel like a chore, it may be time to prioritize and look at what else is taking up your time. A lot of people find that the calm they feel after going to a yoga class or practicing yoga on their own is well worth it.

Remember that you get what you put in. If you make taking care of yourself a priority, you will reap the benefits.

Please let me know your thoughts and message me with any questions 🙂

How to Make Worry Stones

August 27, 2017 by Meghan Renzi

Worry Stones

I recently posted a photo of some “worry stones” I made on Instagram and I received a lot of positive feedback, as well as questions about how to make these magical stones.

I cannot take credit for the invention of worry stones. I learned about worry stones while working in a partial hospitalization program for adolescents. We made worry stones as a group activity and also gave them out as a distress tolerance tool for the teens.

A worry stone can be used as a grounding tool if you are feeling “up in your head”, angry or anxious. Rubbing a worry stone between your index finger and thumb can be a way to bring you make to the here and now.

A great thing about these worry stones is that they are small enough to fit in your pocket and the movement of rubbing your fingers together is so subtle that no one will even know you are using a coping skill! Also, the process of making worry stones can be therapeutic in and of itself.

Here is what you will need to make your very own batch of worry stones:

I purchase everything on Amazon but you can also go to your local craft store

Assorted colors of bakeable clay (I use Sculpy)

Sculpy glaze (optional)

Sparkles or Sparkle dust

An oven

A baking pan

Your hands

That’s it!

Okay, now how to make them….

Preheat the oven to 275 degrees.
Break a few pieces off of 2-4 colors and swirl together. (There is definitely a sweet spot in terms of when to stop mixing. Too much mixing can make the color turn out muddy).
Roll your clay mixture into a ball a little larger than a quarter.
Press your thumb into the ball so the piece of clay forms into a bowl shape but also gives you a nice spot to rub your thumb. (You can make as many as you want!!)
Once you have made your worry stones you can place them on your baking sheet about 1 inch apart.
Bake for 15 minutes.
Once you have allowed your stones to cool, you can choose to add sparkle dust or your glaze.

Now that you are done, you can keep some for yourself or give them out as gifts!

Please send me a message and let me know how they turn out 🙂

Namaste.

Filed Under: Child, coping skills, mental health, Mind Body Connection, Mindfulness, parenting, parents, Self Awareness, teenagers, teens, Therapy Tagged With: anger management, anxiety, coping skills, distress tolerance, mindfulness, parenting, therapy