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Therapy and Mindfulness

Anxiety Explained

May 2, 2019 by Meghan Renzi Leave a Comment

Why am I feeling anxious?

Anxiety is quite the buzzword these days. It seems like every teen I meet has struggled with some form of anxiety, whether it is social anxiety, stress related to academics or a general sense of dread about the future. The truth is we all have anxiety. Our bodies are equipped with an alarm system that lets us know which situations are safe and which ones could be dangerous. When this alarm system is overactive, our bodies respond to benign situations as if they are dangerous. An example could be experiencing extreme fear when having to give a presentation. When someone’s anxiety interferes with daily life or is extremely out of proportion to actual threats then an individual may be diagnosed with an Anxiety Disorder. 

In her latest book, Under Pressure, Dr. Lisa D’Amour sheds light on how anxiety can actually serve as an ally. Despite the common discussion, anxiety is not all bad. Anxiety is a warning sign, letting you know that something is off or there is something you need to pay attention to in your current environment. For example, your anxiety may be triggered when you are walking home alone at night in an unfamiliar area. In this example, the fear that is activated is actually helpful because it alerts you to the fact that your current circumstances could become unsafe. Other times it may be more subtle. You may feel anxious if you have been procrastinating on a school paper that is due in the next few days. Here your anxiety is working as “a protector”, helping you avoid the potential consequences of not turning in your work on time.

Here is what happens to your body when the alarm response is triggered.

When the brain interprets a situation as threatening, stress hormones are released triggering the body’s fight/flight/freeze response. The sympathetic nervous symptom is now activated. You may notice increased heart rate, sweating, shortness of breath, and/or digestive issues. Emotionally you may feel nervous, irritable or a sense of impending doom. Your mind will scan your environment for threats and logical thinking goes out the window.

“Anxiety overestimates how bad something is going to be and underestimates our ability to deal with it”. -Dr. Lisa Damour

Here are a few things to consider:

Anxiety can affect one’s thoughts, physiology, and behavior. Not paying attention to your basic biological needs can often be a culprit for anxiety symptoms. Feeling hungry or tired can make your alarm system more susceptive to become activated in unnecessary situations. Additionally, believing that you have little or no control over your circumstances can also contribute to worsening anxiety symptoms. Finally, not having adequate emotional support can certainly make anxiety worse.

So what can you do when you feel anxious?

  1.  Ask yourself: Is there something here I need to pay attention to? Sometimes mild anxiety can alert you to the behavior you may want to change. Did you just say something that you might regret? Are you putting off a project that you should’ve started last week? Often recognizing and remedying behavior can be enough to calm the nervous system. 
  2. Try grounding yourself. The 5,4,3,2,1 Game helps you interrupt the anxiety loop. Notice 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste to bring yourself back to the present. Another helpful grounding tool is 3 S’s. Recognize the Surface you are sitting or standing on, notice physical Sensations like the temperature of the air touching your skin, and finally notice all the Sounds around you at this moment.
  3. Deep breathing is an excellent way to activate the Parasympathetic nervous system which triggers the body’s relaxation response. When your breathing is slow and deliberate, your brain gets the signal that you are safe. Try these helpful breathing techniques: Square breathing Diaphragmatic breathing.
  4. Recognize just like any other feeling, this too shall pass. All your feelings come and go. You have never had one feeling that lasted forever. It may be extremely uncomfortable but if you can ride it out, you will see that you are capable of handling this emotion.
  5. Make sure you have a support team to reach out to, whether it is a friend, parent or counselor. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can be a helpful treatment for those suffering from anxiety disorders. Group therapy can also be a great place to share openly with people struggling with similar issues.

Finally, remember you will have to practice these techniques over and over to rewire your brain’s response. The more you practice, the more you train your brain to respond to situations in a new way.  Be sure to reach out to your healthcare provider if you have noticed worsening anxiety symptoms.

Further reading:

Under Pressure by Lisa Damour

Mayo Clinic

NIMH

Filed Under: cognitive behavioral therapy, mental health, Mind Body Connection, Mindfulness, Self Awareness, teens, Therapy, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Your Questions Answered: How Yoga Can Help Your Mental Health.

September 22, 2017 by Meghan Renzi 3 Comments

What is Yoga?

I cannot tell you how many times I hear people say “I can’t do yoga I am not flexible”. The truth is yoga is not just about the poses! The word “yoga” actually comes from the phrase “to yoke” or to bring together. Yoga is a way to connect mind, body, and breath. Because this mindful practice includes breath control, centering, and physical movement, it is often referred to as a “moving meditation”. Yoga does not have to be bending into a pretzel or that classic image of svelte models effortlessly floating into dancer pose.

The physical health benefits are numerous and well documented in medical journals. A regular yoga practice is associated with improved cardiovascular health, relief from chronic pain, arthritis and better sleep, in addition to improving muscle strength and posture. Awareness of breath helps you to slow down your thoughts and incorporate more body awareness.

Okay, so what about the mental health benefits?

Most people are aware that practicing yoga will calm your body down. Having a mindfulness practice can also encourage you to stay present with whatever is happening. Oftentimes we are wrapped up in what has happened in the past or what we believe will happen in the future. I can speak for myself when I say that I often get carried away with my thoughts, worries, and “What Ifs”.

Coming back into your breath can take the focus out of your head and into your body. Something magical happens when you connect with your body. Staying in the moment allows you be open to all of the wonderful possibilities your life has to offer.

How can yoga help my depression?

Most of us know that physical exercise is beneficial to one suffering from depression. Yoga is awesome because it incorporates mindfulness with the movement that does not have to be strenuous. Often in depression, the sufferer will experience lethargy, rumination, feelings of sadness and lack of motivation. Practicing yoga and meditation can combat these symptoms and even increase production of feel-good chemicals in the brain like GABA,  dopamine, and serotonin. The practices of yoga and meditation have been noted to activate these neurotransmitters that help regulate mood.

What about my anxiety?

Yoga is a great exercise for someone dealing with anxiety. Often people who suffer from anxiety disorders are preoccupied with what is going on in their heads. Predicting unpleasant events and re-living uncomfortable situations are common for those who struggle with anxiety. Yoga allows space to notice that right now, in this moment, everything is okay. Patients who have been diagnosed with panic disorders and other anxiety disorders, typically have decreased GABA activity in the brain. The chemicals that are released in the brain during a yoga class have been compared to the effects of the Benzodiazepine class of anti-anxiety medication.

I am struggling with addiction. Can yoga help me?

Having a yoga practice can definitely be a helpful supplement to addiction treatment and recovery programs. As stated earlier, Yoga and other mindfulness practices can increase blissful chemicals in the brain like GABA, dopamine, and serotonin, which can be responsible for that post-yoga class euphoric feeling. Additionally, having a routine can be beneficial for anyone dealing with a mental health concern. Adding yoga to your schedule can give you something to look forward to and keep you busy in a positive way.

Do kids and teens benefit from yoga?

Absolutely. In fact, yoga can help children to be more aware of the way their bodies move, while also building comfort with those growing bodies. Teaching mindful movement and meditation to younger children will allow them to learn to focus and be present. Integrating breath and movement can also help with emotional regulation. For teens, yoga can help improve self-esteem by increasing body gratitude and building a sense of community.

How often should I practice?

If I could practice every day I totally would! I think incorporating some kind of mindful exercise whether it is meditation, yoga or prayer, can be a helpful way to start the day. If it starts to feel like a chore, it may be time to prioritize and look at what else is taking up your time. A lot of people find that the calm they feel after going to a yoga class or practicing yoga on their own is well worth it.

Remember that you get what you put in. If you make taking care of yourself a priority, you will reap the benefits.

Please let me know your thoughts and message me with any questions 🙂

Further Reading

From Harvard Health Publications- Yoga Benefits Beyond the Mat

Meditation and Yoga can Modulate Brain Mechanisms that affect Behavior and Anxiety-A Modern Scientific Perspective

From Mayo Clinic- Yoga: Fight Stress and Find Serenity

How might yoga help with depression? A neurobiological perspective. 

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel VanderKolk

Befriending your body: How yoga helps heal trauma

7 Ways Kids Benefit From Yoga

Filed Under: coping skills, mental health, Mind Body Connection, Mindfulness, parenting, Self Awareness, self-esteem, teenagers, teens, Therapy, Thoughts Tagged With: anxiety, depression, mental health, mindfulness, teens, Yoga, young adult

How to Make Worry Stones

August 27, 2017 by Meghan Renzi 3 Comments

Worry Stones

I recently posted a photo of some “worry stones” I made on Instagram and I received a lot of positive feedback, as well as questions about how to make these magical stones.

I cannot take credit for the invention of worry stones. I learned about worry stones while working in a partial hospitalization program for adolescents. We made worry stones as a group activity and also gave them out as a distress tolerance tool for the teens.

A worry stone can be used as a grounding tool if you are feeling “up in your head”, angry or anxious. Rubbing a worry stone between your index finger and thumb can be a way to bring you make to the here and now.

A great thing about these worry stones is that they are small enough to fit in your pocket and the movement of rubbing your fingers together is so subtle that no one will even know you are using a coping skill! Also, the process of making worry stones can be therapeutic in and of itself.

Here is what you will need to make your very own batch of worry stones:

I purchase everything on Amazon but you can also go to your local craft store

Assorted colors of bakeable clay (I use Sculpy)

Sculpy glaze (optional)

Sparkles or Sparkle dust

An oven

A baking pan

Your hands

That’s it!

Okay, now how to make them….

  1. Preheat the oven to 275 degrees.
  2. Break a few pieces off of 2-4 colors and swirl together. (There is definitely a sweet spot in terms of when to stop mixing. Too much mixing can make the color turn out muddy).
  3. Roll your clay mixture into a ball a little larger than a quarter.
  4. Press your thumb into the ball so the piece of clay forms into a bowl shape but also gives you a nice spot to rub your thumb. (You can make as many as you want!!)
  5. Once you have made your worry stones you can place them on your baking sheet about 1 inch apart.
  6. Bake for 15 minutes.
  7. Once you have allowed your stones to cool, you can choose to add sparkle dust or your glaze.

Now that you are done, you can keep some for yourself or give them out as gifts!

Please send me a message and let me know how they turn out 🙂

Namaste.

 

Filed Under: Child, coping skills, mental health, Mind Body Connection, Mindfulness, parenting, parents, Self Awareness, teenagers, teens, Therapy Tagged With: anger management, anxiety, coping skills, distress tolerance, mindfulness, parenting, therapy

To the twenty-something who feels stuck

August 9, 2017 by Meghan Renzi 1 Comment

You feel like you aren’t where you should be.

You finished school but things don’t feel right. For some reason, you thought you would be fully “adulting” by now but instead, you feel lost and unsure of your next steps. You were able to work hard in school but now it’s a struggle to get up off the couch. Maybe you can still go to your job but it feels like there is something missing. You feel like you can’t enjoy your life. Where is that drive you once had?

You might feel like you aren’t living up to everyone’s expectations.

Maybe you feel like you are letting your parents down or perhaps you are realizing that what your parents see for you is different than what you want for yourself.  It doesn’t help watching your peers’ successes posted all over social media.  You know for sure you are not fulfilling your potential.

It shouldn’t be this hard, right?

What you are experiencing is not at all uncommon. Your twenties can be an overwhelming and scary time. You are expected to be an adult, but at the same time, you have never had to be on your own before. Managing responsibilities like paying bills, grocery shopping and showing up to work, not to mention basic self-care can be difficult. The passage into adulthood is a challenge to navigate. For some people, achievements like completing high school or college can be liberating, but for others, no longer having that structure can be incredibly daunting. But these transitions do not have to be paralyzing.

What if you were able to feel motivated and inspired to get out there? How would it feel to have a life that made you want to jump out of bed in the morning? What if you felt happy? What if you felt like things were falling into place and you were right where you were supposed to be?

As cheesy as it sounds, there is only one of you. You have gifts and talents that no one else has. You don’t have to struggle alone. You just need the support to move forward.

The young adults I have worked with benefit from a perception change.

So what is getting in your way?

  1. A pattern of negative thinking. Your thoughts influence your feelings and behaviors. If you don’t pay attention to what you are telling yourself, it will be hard to make any kind of change. One distorted thinking pattern that can get in the way of positive change is “all or nothing” or “black and white” thinking. Thinking in these terms means you see people or events in extremes. This type of thinking may cause you to categorize things as “good” or “bad” instead of seeing the gray area. Another distorted thinking pattern is labeling. You may label yourself as “a loser” or “a failure”. Labeling yourself as “unmotivated” or “lazy” can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can help get to the core of these distorted thinking patterns and equip you with the tools you need to challenge your own thinking.
  2. The belief that everything is going to be perfect. News flash- nothing in life is ever going to be “perfect”. Additionally, no human being is immune from making mistakes. If you wait for everything to line up the way you believe it should, you may be waiting forever. Sometimes you need to take action. Mindfulness can be an antidote to perfectionism because it allows us to see things as they are without judgment.
  3. Self-sabotage. Often we deal with feelings of shame and self-doubt by self-medicating. Whether it be with food, alcohol, or even Netflix. Using these things to cope can feel good. Duh, that’s why people use them, right? They are a quick fix. However, when you constantly go to the quick fix, it can become way too easy to shy away from developing the healthy coping skills that may involve more work. Long term use of unhealthy coping skills can also lead to emotional and health related consequences.
  4. An underlying mental health diagnosis. Depression and anxiety can cause debilitating symptoms that may look like a lack of drive. Symptoms like fatigue and hopelessness can be incapacitating. Unfortunately, people who are struggling with addiction are often seen as lacking the willpower to change. Symptoms of ADHD are often disguised as laziness. The truth is, these serious diagnoses are not your fault and should be treated by a mental health professional. 
  5. The belief that it is not okay to ask for help. Does this statement sound familiar- “I should be able to handle this”? Whether you are having trouble with independent living or just feeling stuck, you CAN ask for help. Most successful people have had plenty of help along the way. You have been trying to do this on your own long enough and it is not working. Remember “if nothing changes, nothing changes”.

You don’t have to stay stuck.

 

Filed Under: cognitive behavioral therapy, mental health, Mindfulness, Self Awareness, self-esteem, Therapy, Thoughts Tagged With: cognitive behavioral therapy, depression, mental health, millennial, motivation, stuck, substance abuse, young adult

How to be kinder to yourself

July 12, 2017 by Meghan Renzi Leave a Comment

We live in a society where workaholism is praised. Often, the media, our parents, our teachers and our bosses are sending the same message: work harder and you will meet your goals. As a self-proclaimed perfectionist, I must admit, I do buy into the idea that if I work harder I will get what I want. The truth is hard work doesn’t always pay off. Like most people, I get burned out. In addition to burn out, many can experience anxiety, “imposter syndrome”, and even paralyzing self-doubt when things don’t work out.

Even our children are taught to push themselves in order to be “the best”. One byproduct of this cultural norm is a society where an alarming percentage of young children are experiencing anxiety. This begs the question: What kind of example are we setting as adults? We work long hours, eat food “products” (that aren’t even real food), treat sleep like it is optional, are overscheduled and as a result feel undervalued. But feeling undervalued can start with your own mindset.

DO YOU VALUE YOURSELF?

Do you value yourself whether or not you get that promotion or get asked on a second date? Do you value yourself even though you skipped the gym today?

Are you giving yourself a break? Are you treating your body like the gift that it is?

The purpose of these questions is not to make you feel like you are failing but rather, to bring the idea of self-care back into your awareness.

Cut yourself some slack. The truth is that your “best” can look different from day to day. Recognize that you are going to have some days when you can give more than others. When you find yourself feeling irritable, sluggish or fatigued- it might be time to give yourself a break. Remember you wouldn’t be human if you felt the same way every minute of every day.

Below are 6 ways you can treat yourself with more kindness

  1. Get outside. Notice all the details. See all that is alive among the trees and wildlife. Nature has a healing effect on people. Experiencing something bigger than yourself can highlight the fact that there is more to life than what you are feeling at this moment.
  2. Treat yo self. Seriously, buy yourself a treat and savor it. Consume it mindfully. Whether it is a frappuccino from Starbucks, some chocolate or a freshly squeezed juice. And please don’t count the calories.
  3. Give your pet or kid a snuggle or ask for a hug from a friend. Human touch releases oxytocin, a bonding hormone. Studies show that oxytocin can help ease physical pain and emotional stress. 
  4. Notice your mistakes and EMBRACE them. Mistakes help us learn and remind us that we are human. Rather than beating yourself up every time you make an error, think in terms of a growth mindset. Try this thought on for size: If things stay status quo, I stay the same. If there is change, there is opportunity me to grow and get stronger.
  5. Allow yourself to unplug. Once upon a time, we lived in a world where cell phones did not exist. What would it be like if you weren’t readily available for everyone else? Being “on call” can feed anxious thoughts. The world will keep spinning even if you don’t respond to that text. What if you allowed things around you to happen without you interfering or constantly knowing what is going on in everyone else’s life? While social media has it’s benefits, it also feeds the tendency to compare your life to someone else’s. Remember what you see online is an edited, filtered avatar. No one’s life is perfect.
  6. Finally, applaud yourself for small victories. Did you schedule a Dr.’s appointment? Walk the dog? Pick up groceries for the week? Take the stairs? Go you! Celebrating these accomplishments can shift your mindset to a more positive one.

Further Reading

The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown

More about imposter syndrome

Benefits of Hugging 

Filed Under: Child, cognitive behavioral therapy, mental health, Mind Body Connection, Mindfulness, Self Awareness, self-esteem, Therapy, Thoughts, Uncategorized Tagged With: authentic Self, mental health, perfectionism, self care, self compassion, self esteem, wellness

5 Reasons You Should Give Therapy a Try

June 15, 2017 by Meghan Renzi 1 Comment

Why Therapy?

Whether or not you are suffering from a diagnosed mental health condition, therapy can be a helpful tool. Life is full of surprises. Changes in health, family dynamics or a romantic relationship can be difficult to navigate. Seeking support from a mental health professional, outside of your family or friends, should never be viewed as something to be ashamed of. As humans, social interaction is an important component to mental health. The idea that you should be able to deal with certain pains in life on your own is a false one.

Here are a few ways therapy can help:

  1. You get an outside perspective. Having an objective person share their observations during a personal dilemma is often helpful, especially when you may be too emotionally invested to see the big picture. For some, it can be difficult to admit that we are struggling, even to our closest companions. Your therapist is legally and ethically obligated to keep your information and what you share in session confidential. Additionally, your therapist can hold you accountable so you can stay on track with your goals.
  2. Cognitive behavioral therapy can help. One of the hallmarks of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is identifying the negative thinking patterns that can distort our reality. A CBT oriented therapist can help her patient to recognize these thought distortions. CBT also points to the relationship between our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. If you can change your thinking, eventually you can change your response to certain distressing situations.
  3. The power of the relationship. Carl Rogers, the father of “person-centered” or humanistic therapy, posits that there are three essential ingredients of a successful therapeutic relationship – unconditional positive regard, genuineness, and empathy. The act of stating your feelings out loud to another person can help you to hear what you are actually saying and feel like a release. For this reason, having a nonjudgemental person there to hold the space can be therapeutic in and of itself.
  4. Therapy can give you tools for dealing with life. Maybe you have some bad habits you are trying to break or you are tired of blowing up at your significant other. A trained mental health professional can help you identify coping strategies to manage difficult encounters. In therapy, time can be spent exploring certain triggers, communication patterns and automatic negative thoughts which could be at the root of these maladaptive behaviors.
  5. Therapy rewires the brain. The results are well documented. People who engage in therapy become more self-aware, report increased self-esteem and develop more positive habits. Over time, therapy can change the way you think. Why? Recognizing your own thought patterns is the first step to changing them.

Some things to keep in mind:

Therapy is a process, not a quick fix. In most therapy settings, the goal is for the client to be able to implement changes in their life, outside of the office. A successful therapy case takes work from both therapist and client. It can take some time to build a relationship with your therapist and for a lot of people, it may take some time to find someone who is a good fit.

If you are struggling, ask for help. Remember you don’t have to do anything alone.

Further reading:

Understanding how psychotherapy works http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/understanding-psychotherapy.aspx

Psychotherapies https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/psychotherapies/index.shtml

Does cognitive behavioral therapy change the brain? A systematic review of neuroimaging in anxiety disorders. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19622682

The healing power of the therapeutic relationship http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/person-centered-rogerian-therapy/

Filed Under: cognitive behavioral therapy, relationship, Self Awareness, self-esteem, Therapy, Thoughts Tagged With: brain, cognitive behavioral therapy, feelings, relationship, therapy, thoughts, tools

10 things you can do today for increased happiness

March 16, 2017 by Meghan Renzi Leave a Comment

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happiness?

As a therapist, I often hear clients of all ages tell me: “I want to feel happier”. Many are struggling with symptoms of depression or anxiety, and some are having trouble accepting their current circumstances. I have to ask: “What would happy feel like?”. A lot of people have trouble answering this question. Happiness can mean different things for different people. When I think of happiness, words like joy, gratitude, and contentment come to mind. While this is my conception of the word, it may not be another’s. As a cognitive behavioral therapist, I help my clients explore their own thinking patterns, while also dissecting how those patterns impact behavior. As a yoga teacher, I also have to explore the mind-body connection.

Below is a list of ten simple tools you can incorporate into your daily life to improve your mood, and set you on your path to happiness:

  1. Refraining from complaining– Pause and ask yourself “Am I living in the problem? Or am I living in the solution?”. Feeding the problem will only make it bigger. What does feeding the problem look like? Complaining to other people, and wallowing in self-pity. We have all been there. Rather than turning to negative thinking and adding to the problem, focus on being in the solution. Being solution oriented means asking for help, being willing to take suggestions, and taking small steps toward change.
  2. Mind your body– Pay attention to your habits. What are you feeding your body? Are you hydrated? Are you exercising? All of these factors have a huge impact on mood. Avoid processed foods and start carrying a water bottle. Start an exercise routine, and this doesn’t mean you have to wake up at 5 AM or join an overpriced gym. Schedule a walk outside with a friend or make time to practice some yoga at home. Also, take care of any pain or chronic health issues by consulting with your primary care physician.
  3. Stop comparing– Teddy Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy”. First of all, no two people are exactly alike. As an identical twin, I should know. So why do we constantly compare ourselves to others? Everyone has their own unique story and a different set of problems. Do not fall into the comparison trap. Comparing yourself to another person is a futile exercise.
  4. Say “yes” and say “no”- Say “yes” to the things you enjoy and surround yourself with people who lift you up. Be open to new experiences even if they seem scary at the time—this is how we grow, and get happier. Say “no” to the things you cannot fit into your schedule and to people who drain you of energy.
  5. Avoid mind wandering– Sometimes, when we let our negative thinking take over, we can end up overthinking and spiraling into unpleasant stories. Our minds are designed to scan for threats. So how do we enjoy our lives despite this negativity bias? One way is to try to stay more present for your life. This could mean having a daily meditation practice, pausing to notice your breath or simply doing one thing at a time.
  6. Check your “emotional hygiene”– Watch how you talk to yourself. Negative self-talk can hugely impact mood. What does negative self-talk look like? “I am a loser”, “No one will ever ask me out”, and “I will never be happy with the way I look”. Just like we have to clean our bodies and watch what we eat, we also should be watching what we feed our minds. Positive affirmations and a daily gratitude practice can be a great way to counter negative self-talk.
  7. Gratitude- As stated above, a daily gratitude practice has been linked with happier lives in general and can be a great tool to counter negative self-talk. Your gratitude practice could be writing down 5 things you are grateful for, telling your support people that you are thankful for their presence or taking the time to thank your god/higher power/deity/universe when something good happens.
  8. Get outside-There is a reason a lot of hospitals use pictures of nature and plants to add to the decor. Because research shows that being outside in nature can have a positive impact on mood. Studies indicate that spending time in nature can combat rumination- repetitively or obsessively thinking about one’s negative feelings.
  9. Make sure you are getting enough sleep- I shared this in a previous blog post, and if you don’t believe me, you can google it. Sleep impacts mood. The CDC recommends 8 to 10 hours of sleep for adolescents and at least 7 hours of sleep for adults. If you are not getting enough sleep, you are going to be tired, irritable and feel drained. Because sleep directly affects your mood, it can have a significant impact on your personal pursuit of happiness
  10. Self-soothe- Finally, give yourself some love. Why? Because you are worth it! Take a bath, listen to a guided meditation, read a book, smell some essential oils or book a massage. Make it a routine and if you have to- put a reminder on your phone.

Remember if you are struggling with a mental health diagnosis always consult with a mental health professional. If you are having thoughts of suicide, call 911 or go to your nearest Emergency Room.

For further reading, check out the resources below.

TED Radio Hour- Simply Happy.

http://www.npr.org/programs/ted-radio-hour/267185371/simply-happy

CDC’s recommendations for sleep by age group.

https://www.cdc.gov/sleep/about_sleep/how_much_sleep.html

Standford News- how nature decreases depression.

http://news.stanford.edu/2015/06/30/hiking-mental-health-063015/

 

Filed Under: mental health, Mind Body Connection, Mindfulness, Self Awareness, Thoughts Tagged With: cognitive behavioral therapy, happiness, self care, self-talk

To the girl who feels like she will never fit in

January 22, 2017 by Meghan Renzi 2 Comments

You are in pain. You don’t feel like you will ever be good enough. Maybe you feel like you are too different. You just want to be accepted. You wish that you could wave a magic wand and that things would change. It seems like you will just never fit in. The grown-ups just don’t get it. It’s too weird to talk about this stuff with your parents. It can be lonely when you are stuck carrying these feelings all by yourself.

I get it. As a therapist, I help girls who struggle with feeling like they aren’t good enough. The truth is you are good enough, sometimes it just doesn’t feel that way. The stuff that happens in your life as a kid and teenager is significant because it can change the person that you become.

What if you felt confident in who you are? What if you had the courage to be yourself and not care what the other kids think? What if you felt brave enough to show the world your talents and gifts? It is possible to get there.

Here are a few things you can start working on today:

  1. List out all the things in your life that bring you joy. I know– this one can be a challenge, especially if you are feeling low. Give it a try anyway. After you come up with 2 or 3 things, see if there is a way to incorporate these into your daily routine.
  2. Start talking to yourself like you would talk to a close friend or someone you really care about. Would you call a friend “stupid” or “a failure”? Probably not. Negative self-talk can perpetuate low self-esteem. Sometimes we may not even realize how mean we are to ourselves because these thoughts have become so automatic.
  3. Be honest with your parents or an adult whom you trust. Sharing things out can be a huge relief. Remember you are not alone.

Things do not have to stay this way! There is hope. With access to support and some helpful strategies, you can begin to finally realize how amazing you are.

 

Filed Under: Child, Mindfulness, Self Awareness, teenagers, teens, Uncategorized Tagged With: adolescent, girls, self esteem, teens

What are you grateful for?

November 23, 2016 by Meghan Renzi Leave a Comment

November is a time when most of us think about fun stuff like playing in the leaves, cozy clothes and the upcoming holiday season. The Thanksgiving holiday, in particular, brings to mind eating lots of yummy treats or spending time with family. But have you ever stopped to think about what Thanksgiving really means?

Giving thanks can have many benefits for your psychological health. And guess what? You can “give thanks” all year round! Newsweek published an article (citing Harvard Medical School) on the benefits of gratitude. Benefits included improved sleep, increased self-esteem, more hope for the future and increased resiliency! Personally, I try to write a gratitude list a few times a week. Why? Because it helps me to pay attention to the positive things in my life, rather than focusing—as most of us do—on everything going wrong. My gratitude list might include things as basic as having heat in my house or being able to practice yoga.  One simple way to incorporate gratitude into your life could be writing down 5 things that you are grateful for each day. Hitting the pause button on your day and writing a gratitude list can be a great way to step back and see the bigger picture.

This does not have to be an elaborate exercise. Try it out and let me know how it goes!

For further reading on the benefits of gratitude check out these articles.

In Praise of Gratitude from Harvard Health Publications 

5 scientifically proven benefits of gratitude by Douglas Main of Newsweek

7 scientific benefits of gratitude by Amy Morin of Psychology Today

 

Filed Under: Intentions, mental health, Self Awareness, Thoughts, Visualization Tagged With: gratitude, mental health, positive thinking, thanksgiving

Dealing with stress

September 15, 2016 by Meghan Renzi Leave a Comment

slide4B&WBack to school time got you stressed? Fall can be a busy time for everyone, whether or not you have kids or are a kid! Traffic gets worse, fickle weather, and people are generally doing more.

Here are a few tips to help keep things in perspective!

Oftentimes when we feel overwhelmed, we tend to neglect our most basic human needs. If you are feeling a sense of impending doom or things are getting to be too much, pause and check your body.

Ask yourself these questions:

Am I hydrated? According to the Mayo Clinic, even mild dehydration can leave your body feeling tired. Drinking water is one of the best ways to ensure that you are hydrated, but remember that other beverages and foods (mainly fruits and vegetables) also contain water and contribute to hydration.

Am I hungry? I get it. Sometimes when I’m “in the zone” I forget to eat. For me personally, I have to keep snacks with me at all times. Try keeping a jar of peanut butter at your desk, or a granola bar in your purse.  Even just downing some crackers or a cheese stick can really change your perspective. Although it is tempting, try to avoid candy, soda, and over-snacking.

Am I tired? The sad truth is that most of us don’t get enough sleep. We live in a society where productivity is encouraged, which often sends us the subtle message that our basic human needs are not important. According to The National Sleep Foundation, growing teens need 8-10 hours of sleep. Adults need 7-9 hours. Remember Abraham Maslow from Psych 101? He classified sleep as one of our most basic needs, along with food and water. It is a need, not a want people! So whether you feel the urge to pull an all nighter studying, stay up late binge watching Netflix, or party ’til the sun comes up—remember your body needs sleep to function and you will be feeling it the next day!

Consider the big picture. Take a moment to pause. Maybe take a walk outside, look at the trees, look at the sky. There is a great big world out there. Ask yourself: “how important is this issue in the grand scheme of things?” Ask yourself: “will this be haunting me 1 year from now?” Answering these questions truthfully will really help you keep things in perspective.

Another important thing to consider: Are you in the problem or are you in the solution? Go for a walk, call a friend, listen to your favorite song or podcast, read something inspirational, or have a snack. When I focus on the problem, the problem gets bigger. When I am doing solution oriented things, I don’t have to live in the problem. Sometimes the best thing to do is to “get out of the way” and focus on something productive. Things will often work themselves out.

 

Filed Under: Mind Body Connection, Mindfulness, Self Awareness, Thoughts Tagged With: back to school, distress tolerance, human needs, hydration, living in the solution, mind body connection, mindfulness, negativity bias, sleep, stress, stress management, therapy, thought patterns

Meghan Renzi,
LCSW-C, LICSW

Therapy & Mindfulness Practices LLC



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