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Therapy and Mindfulness

Anxiety Explained

May 2, 2019 by Meghan Renzi

Why am I feeling anxious?

Anxiety is quite the buzzword these days. It seems like every teen I meet has struggled with some form of anxiety, whether it is social anxiety, stress related to academics or a general sense of dread about the future. The truth is we all have anxiety. Our bodies are equipped with an alarm system that lets us know which situations are safe and which ones could be dangerous. When this alarm system is overactive, our bodies respond to benign situations as if they are dangerous. An example could be experiencing extreme fear when having to give a presentation. When someone’s anxiety interferes with daily life or is extremely out of proportion to actual threats then an individual may be diagnosed with an Anxiety Disorder. 

In her latest book, Under Pressure, Dr. Lisa D’Amour sheds light on how anxiety can actually serve as an ally. Despite the common discussion, anxiety is not all bad. Anxiety is a warning sign, letting you know that something is off or there is something you need to pay attention to in your current environment. For example, your anxiety may be triggered when you are walking home alone at night in an unfamiliar area. In this example, the fear that is activated is actually helpful because it alerts you to the fact that your current circumstances could become unsafe. Other times it may be more subtle. You may feel anxious if you have been procrastinating on a school paper that is due in the next few days. Here your anxiety is working as “a protector”, helping you avoid the potential consequences of not turning in your work on time.

Here is what happens to your body when the alarm response is triggered.

When the brain interprets a situation as threatening, stress hormones are released triggering the body’s fight/flight/freeze response. The sympathetic nervous symptom is now activated. You may notice increased heart rate, sweating, shortness of breath, and/or digestive issues. Emotionally you may feel nervous, irritable or a sense of impending doom. Your mind will scan your environment for threats and logical thinking goes out the window.

“Anxiety overestimates how bad something is going to be and underestimates our ability to deal with it”. -Dr. Lisa Damour

Here are a few things to consider:

Anxiety can affect one’s thoughts, physiology, and behavior. Not paying attention to your basic biological needs can often be a culprit for anxiety symptoms. Feeling hungry or tired can make your alarm system more susceptive to become activated in unnecessary situations. Additionally, believing that you have little or no control over your circumstances can also contribute to worsening anxiety symptoms. Finally, not having adequate emotional support can certainly make anxiety worse.

So what can you do when you feel anxious?

  1.  Ask yourself: Is there something here I need to pay attention to? Sometimes mild anxiety can alert you to the behavior you may want to change. Did you just say something that you might regret? Are you putting off a project that you should’ve started last week? Often recognizing and remedying behavior can be enough to calm the nervous system. 
  2. Try grounding yourself. The 5,4,3,2,1 Game helps you interrupt the anxiety loop. Notice 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste to bring yourself back to the present. Another helpful grounding tool is 3 S’s. Recognize the Surface you are sitting or standing on, notice physical Sensations like the temperature of the air touching your skin, and finally notice all the Sounds around you at this moment.
  3. Deep breathing is an excellent way to activate the Parasympathetic nervous system which triggers the body’s relaxation response. When your breathing is slow and deliberate, your brain gets the signal that you are safe. Try these helpful breathing techniques: Square breathing Diaphragmatic breathing.
  4. Recognize just like any other feeling, this too shall pass. All your feelings come and go. You have never had one feeling that lasted forever. It may be extremely uncomfortable but if you can ride it out, you will see that you are capable of handling this emotion.
  5. Make sure you have a support team to reach out to, whether it is a friend, parent or counselor. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can be a helpful treatment for those suffering from anxiety disorders. Group therapy can also be a great place to share openly with people struggling with similar issues.

Finally, remember you will have to practice these techniques over and over to rewire your brain’s response. The more you practice, the more you train your brain to respond to situations in a new way.  Be sure to reach out to your healthcare provider if you have noticed worsening anxiety symptoms.

Further reading:

Under Pressure by Lisa Damour

Mayo Clinic

NIMH

Filed Under: cognitive behavioral therapy, mental health, Mind Body Connection, Mindfulness, Self Awareness, teens, Therapy, Thoughts, Uncategorized

5 Ways Group Can Change Your Teen’s Life

February 15, 2018 by Meghan Renzi

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if your teen had deeper social connections? And I don’t mean over social media. I mean real face to face human contact! Technology is amazing. In many ways, we are more “connected” than ever. We can keep in touch with friends we haven’t seen in years and we can chat with people across the globe. Even some Therapists are moving to an online platform for providing services. It makes one wonder what implications these innovations have for human connection.

Why are more and more people reporting a deep sense of loneliness? 

We are living in a time where you have the option to be more socially isolated. Now think about your teen. It can be way more comfortable (and accessible) to make connections online than in person. So chances are a good percentage of what your child digests about the world and other people is from social media. Your daughter looks at her friends’ Snapchat stories and sees peers posting seemingly perfect avatars. She sees her Instagram feed showing airbrushed models and friends displaying a filtered version of an average, awkward teenage existence.

So how do you convince your kid that what she sees online is not always reality? How do you help your girl to see that she is not alone— that there are other girls who are going through almost the exact same thing? Afterall, there are not a lot of teens modeling failure or vulnerability on Instagram.

Your teen needs true social connection.

It may sound obvious but lack of face to face connection can lead to increased feelings of loneliness, especially among the adolescent population. Adolescents are in a stage of development where peer acceptance becomes especially important. The need to feel a part of the group can cause some teens to go against their own values in order to be accepted. Feeling alone and isolated can be incredibly painful during the teenage years. Has your daughter ever said “No one understands me”, “I will never fit in”, or “No one else at my school has to deal with this”? More often than not, we tend to view our own problems as unique.

Social Connection improves your overall health.

Research shows that social connection is the number one indicator of good mental health. “Dozens of studies have shown that people who have satisfying relationships with family, friends, and their community are happier, have fewer health problems, and live longer. Conversely, a relative lack of social ties is associated with depression and later-life cognitive decline, as well as with increased mortality” (Harvard Health Publications, 2010). Positive social connections refer to quality relationships—  people you can be real with, people who support you and accept you just as you are. Positive social connections are an integral part of psychological wellness at all stages of life. Why? Because human beings are social creatures. Historically, being connected has been a huge part of our survival. 

The magic happens when the mask comes off. 

Group therapy can be a great place to start making these social connections. The group is an amazing treatment modality. Participants can build healthy connections with peers and have a safe place to share what is really going on. When members are honest, they find that they actually relate to one another on a deeper level.

Here are 5 benefits of group therapy:

  1. Groups help build a social connection.

     As stated earlier, having satisfying relationships is an integral part of mental health. Group therapy can bring people together with similar issues and thus “relating in” can happen pretty quickly. With the help of a facilitator, group members can share struggles, listen and oftentimes explore solutions. Being in a group setting will also help your daughter enhance her social skills, which can mean being a better friend, partner, and teammate.  

  2. Group fosters a sense of belonging. 

    It may not be easy for your teen to let her guard down in her everyday life but in a group, opening up about what is bothering you is encouraged. Vulnerability is where connection happens. Vulnerability means letting the real you shine through.  It is about belonging, not fitting in. Brene Brown discusses the difference between fitting in and belonging in her book, the Gifts of Imperfection. Brown states “Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming what you need to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn’t require us to change who we are, it requires us to be who we are”. 

  3. Your teen has a chance to give back and feel useful.

     Group can give your child a unique opportunity to give and get support. Group members can be a sounding board for your teen. Often, members who are further along in the group process can offer different perspectives. What’s more, research shows that giving back in a way that feels useful, like offering support to another group members, can do wonders for one’s self-esteem.

  4. Your teen can get extra support and accountability.

    I have heard this from almost every parent I work with— “She doesn’t listen to me, I guess she needs to hear it from someone else”. The reality is that your teen is more likely to be open with peers rather than adults. Group members hold one another accountable and will call each other out. Peer pressure can work in a positive way in a group setting where peers share similar goals. It is also so helpful for teens to get validation and support from peers.

  5. She may feel better faster.

    Being a part of a community and having a sense of belonging can have remarkable healing effects. Group therapy has often been compared to having a mirror held up. Being among peers struggling with similar issues can give your teen a place where she can “see herself” and with that see opportunities for growth and change. As a result, suffering can be reduced in less time. 

Does Group replace individual therapy?

Group does not have to replace individual therapy. Many find that group is a helpful supplement to individual therapy. In addition, the group can be a place to practice some skills from individual therapy. From an economic perspective, a group can be less expensive than individual therapy and, for many mental health issues, just as effective as individual therapy. Many find that group therapy is all they need to start getting relief.

Where do I find a group for my teen?

Ask a mental health professional like your child’s therapist or psychiatrist. Many therapy practices offer group therapy, including my own. Often getting a personal recommendation from someone you trust can be best. You can also ask your child’s pediatrician or school counselor. Obviously, there is a wealth of information online. Psychology today is a great resource. You can search for local group therapy resources.

So maybe your daughter is scared to join a group. The fear of being judged can be paralyzing. The good news is your daughter is probably already in some kind of group, whether it is a sports team, club or even a class. Encourage your daughter to get out of her comfort zone. Share with her some of the health benefits of positive social connections. Remember— If nothing changes, nothing changes. Group therapy can be a powerful container for change.

Further reading

The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown

“Social Relationships and Health” National Institutes of Health 

“Power in Numbers” The American Psychological Association

“Can Relationships Boost Longevity and Well-being?” Harvard Health Publishing

“The Importance of Being Social” Scientific American 

 

Filed Under: group, mental health, Mind Body Connection, parenting, self-esteem, social media, teenagers, teens, Therapy

To the Teen Already Suffering From Anxiety: How to Process Tragic Events.

October 4, 2017 by Meghan Renzi

If you are a teen growing up in today’s world, chances are you feel constantly bombarded with information, often bad news. After the mass shooting in Las Vegas, I thought about how some of my adolescent and young adult patients would respond. Most of the young people I work with are already dealing with anxiety on some level. I have to reflect on how I would have processed such a scary assault back when I was a teenager. I recall being in high school during the 9/11 terrorist attack and how terrifying that was for my peers and me. The news coverage back then seemed neverending. The world certainly changed after that day in 2001 but the terror has not stopped.

Today we have even more access to information thanks to the internet. You see coverage of hurricanes, war, violent protests and mass shootings. Here is the scary part: we cannot predict what will happen next. Sometimes it might feel like everywhere you look there is devastation. So how do you manage panic? How do you send your body the message that right now you are safe?

Here are 3 things you can do to take back your control.

1. Limit your social media and news. Social media often becomes a place for people to voice their opinions after such tragedies. While raising awareness of the issues is great, it’s not uncommon for Facebook and Twitter to become a battleground for opposing political opinions. Watching these arguments can give rise to emotions like anger, frustration, and fear. While these emotions are not “bad”, constantly feeding them can create more anxiety and stress in your body.

In terms of watching the news, there is no need to be checking on what is happening 24/7. Seeing terror on the television or watching videos online can cause a traumatic response in the viewer and increase panic symptoms.

2. Practice grounding. Our bodies respond to stress by going into fight, flight or freeze mode. While you may not be in any physical danger currently, your physical response may tell you that you are. Bringing yourself back into your body, in the present moment, can be a great way to get out of your head. One tool I teach my clients on a regular basis is the 5,4,3,2,1 game. I advise clients to come back into the here and now by noticing 5 things they can see, 4 things they can touch, 3 things they can hear, 2 things they can smell and 1 thing they can taste. This practice can help you to become more present instead of ruminating over the past or worrying about what the future holds. Other helpful grounding practices are belly breathing and physical contact– (like hugging friends, family, and pets).

Remember in this moment you are safe.

3. Do something. It can be easy to write a post about how you feel on social media. It may require more effort to enact bigger change. Start a fundraiser at your high school, raise awareness in your community about the issues or write your congressmen. Click on the links below for ways to help the those affected by the recent hurricanes and the victims of the shooting in Las Vegas.

Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands

Las Vegas

Finally, if you notice any anxiety, trauma or mood symptoms worsening, you may need help from a mental health professional. Tell your parent or caregiver that you are struggling and know that help is available. You don’t have to do anything alone!

Further reading:

Children and Trauma. From the American Psychological Association

How to deal with Traumatic News from CNN

Helping Gifted and Highly Sensitive Teens Cope with Trauma

Filed Under: mental health, Mind Body Connection, Mindfulness, parenting, social media, technology, teenagers, teens, Therapy

Your Questions Answered: How Yoga Can Help Your Mental Health.

September 22, 2017 by Meghan Renzi

What is Yoga?

I cannot tell you how many times I hear people say “I can’t do yoga I am not flexible”. The truth is yoga is not just about the poses! The word “yoga” actually comes from the phrase “to yoke” or to bring together. Yoga is a way to connect mind, body, and breath. Because this mindful practice includes breath control, centering, and physical movement, it is often referred to as a “moving meditation”. Yoga does not have to be bending into a pretzel or that classic image of svelte models effortlessly floating into dancer pose.

The physical health benefits are numerous and well documented in medical journals. A regular yoga practice is associated with improved cardiovascular health, relief from chronic pain, arthritis and better sleep, in addition to improving muscle strength and posture. Awareness of breath helps you to slow down your thoughts and incorporate more body awareness.

Okay, so what about the mental health benefits?

Most people are aware that practicing yoga will calm your body down. Having a mindfulness practice can also encourage you to stay present with whatever is happening. Oftentimes we are wrapped up in what has happened in the past or what we believe will happen in the future. I can speak for myself when I say that I often get carried away with my thoughts, worries, and “What Ifs”.

Coming back into your breath can take the focus out of your head and into your body. Something magical happens when you connect with your body. Staying in the moment allows you be open to all of the wonderful possibilities your life has to offer.

How can yoga help my depression?

Most of us know that physical exercise is beneficial to one suffering from depression. Yoga is awesome because it incorporates mindfulness with the movement that does not have to be strenuous. Often in depression, the sufferer will experience lethargy, rumination, feelings of sadness and lack of motivation. Practicing yoga and meditation can combat these symptoms and even increase production of feel-good chemicals in the brain like GABA,  dopamine, and serotonin. The practices of yoga and meditation have been noted to activate these neurotransmitters that help regulate mood.

What about my anxiety?

Yoga is a great exercise for someone dealing with anxiety. Often people who suffer from anxiety disorders are preoccupied with what is going on in their heads. Predicting unpleasant events and re-living uncomfortable situations are common for those who struggle with anxiety. Yoga allows space to notice that right now, in this moment, everything is okay. Patients who have been diagnosed with panic disorders and other anxiety disorders, typically have decreased GABA activity in the brain. The chemicals that are released in the brain during a yoga class have been compared to the effects of the Benzodiazepine class of anti-anxiety medication.

I am struggling with addiction. Can yoga help me?

Having a yoga practice can definitely be a helpful supplement to addiction treatment and recovery programs. As stated earlier, Yoga and other mindfulness practices can increase blissful chemicals in the brain like GABA, dopamine, and serotonin, which can be responsible for that post-yoga class euphoric feeling. Additionally, having a routine can be beneficial for anyone dealing with a mental health concern. Adding yoga to your schedule can give you something to look forward to and keep you busy in a positive way.

Do kids and teens benefit from yoga?

Absolutely. In fact, yoga can help children to be more aware of the way their bodies move, while also building comfort with those growing bodies. Teaching mindful movement and meditation to younger children will allow them to learn to focus and be present. Integrating breath and movement can also help with emotional regulation. For teens, yoga can help improve self-esteem by increasing body gratitude and building a sense of community.

How often should I practice?

If I could practice every day I totally would! I think incorporating some kind of mindful exercise whether it is meditation, yoga or prayer, can be a helpful way to start the day. If it starts to feel like a chore, it may be time to prioritize and look at what else is taking up your time. A lot of people find that the calm they feel after going to a yoga class or practicing yoga on their own is well worth it.

Remember that you get what you put in. If you make taking care of yourself a priority, you will reap the benefits.

Please let me know your thoughts and message me with any questions 🙂

Further Reading

From Harvard Health Publications- Yoga Benefits Beyond the Mat

Meditation and Yoga can Modulate Brain Mechanisms that affect Behavior and Anxiety-A Modern Scientific Perspective

From Mayo Clinic- Yoga: Fight Stress and Find Serenity

How might yoga help with depression? A neurobiological perspective. 

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel VanderKolk

Befriending your body: How yoga helps heal trauma

7 Ways Kids Benefit From Yoga

Filed Under: coping skills, mental health, Mind Body Connection, Mindfulness, parenting, Self Awareness, self-esteem, teenagers, teens, Therapy, Thoughts Tagged With: anxiety, depression, mental health, mindfulness, teens, Yoga, young adult

How to Make Worry Stones

August 27, 2017 by Meghan Renzi

Worry Stones

I recently posted a photo of some “worry stones” I made on Instagram and I received a lot of positive feedback, as well as questions about how to make these magical stones.

I cannot take credit for the invention of worry stones. I learned about worry stones while working in a partial hospitalization program for adolescents. We made worry stones as a group activity and also gave them out as a distress tolerance tool for the teens.

A worry stone can be used as a grounding tool if you are feeling “up in your head”, angry or anxious. Rubbing a worry stone between your index finger and thumb can be a way to bring you make to the here and now.

A great thing about these worry stones is that they are small enough to fit in your pocket and the movement of rubbing your fingers together is so subtle that no one will even know you are using a coping skill! Also, the process of making worry stones can be therapeutic in and of itself.

Here is what you will need to make your very own batch of worry stones:

I purchase everything on Amazon but you can also go to your local craft store

Assorted colors of bakeable clay (I use Sculpy)

Sculpy glaze (optional)

Sparkles or Sparkle dust

An oven

A baking pan

Your hands

That’s it!

Okay, now how to make them….

  1. Preheat the oven to 275 degrees.
  2. Break a few pieces off of 2-4 colors and swirl together. (There is definitely a sweet spot in terms of when to stop mixing. Too much mixing can make the color turn out muddy).
  3. Roll your clay mixture into a ball a little larger than a quarter.
  4. Press your thumb into the ball so the piece of clay forms into a bowl shape but also gives you a nice spot to rub your thumb. (You can make as many as you want!!)
  5. Once you have made your worry stones you can place them on your baking sheet about 1 inch apart.
  6. Bake for 15 minutes.
  7. Once you have allowed your stones to cool, you can choose to add sparkle dust or your glaze.

Now that you are done, you can keep some for yourself or give them out as gifts!

Please send me a message and let me know how they turn out 🙂

Namaste.

 

Filed Under: Child, coping skills, mental health, Mind Body Connection, Mindfulness, parenting, parents, Self Awareness, teenagers, teens, Therapy Tagged With: anger management, anxiety, coping skills, distress tolerance, mindfulness, parenting, therapy

How to be kinder to yourself

July 12, 2017 by Meghan Renzi

We live in a society where workaholism is praised. Often, the media, our parents, our teachers and our bosses are sending the same message: work harder and you will meet your goals. As a self-proclaimed perfectionist, I must admit, I do buy into the idea that if I work harder I will get what I want. The truth is hard work doesn’t always pay off. Like most people, I get burned out. In addition to burn out, many can experience anxiety, “imposter syndrome”, and even paralyzing self-doubt when things don’t work out.

Even our children are taught to push themselves in order to be “the best”. One byproduct of this cultural norm is a society where an alarming percentage of young children are experiencing anxiety. This begs the question: What kind of example are we setting as adults? We work long hours, eat food “products” (that aren’t even real food), treat sleep like it is optional, are overscheduled and as a result feel undervalued. But feeling undervalued can start with your own mindset.

DO YOU VALUE YOURSELF?

Do you value yourself whether or not you get that promotion or get asked on a second date? Do you value yourself even though you skipped the gym today?

Are you giving yourself a break? Are you treating your body like the gift that it is?

The purpose of these questions is not to make you feel like you are failing but rather, to bring the idea of self-care back into your awareness.

Cut yourself some slack. The truth is that your “best” can look different from day to day. Recognize that you are going to have some days when you can give more than others. When you find yourself feeling irritable, sluggish or fatigued- it might be time to give yourself a break. Remember you wouldn’t be human if you felt the same way every minute of every day.

Below are 6 ways you can treat yourself with more kindness

  1. Get outside. Notice all the details. See all that is alive among the trees and wildlife. Nature has a healing effect on people. Experiencing something bigger than yourself can highlight the fact that there is more to life than what you are feeling at this moment.
  2. Treat yo self. Seriously, buy yourself a treat and savor it. Consume it mindfully. Whether it is a frappuccino from Starbucks, some chocolate or a freshly squeezed juice. And please don’t count the calories.
  3. Give your pet or kid a snuggle or ask for a hug from a friend. Human touch releases oxytocin, a bonding hormone. Studies show that oxytocin can help ease physical pain and emotional stress. 
  4. Notice your mistakes and EMBRACE them. Mistakes help us learn and remind us that we are human. Rather than beating yourself up every time you make an error, think in terms of a growth mindset. Try this thought on for size: If things stay status quo, I stay the same. If there is change, there is opportunity me to grow and get stronger.
  5. Allow yourself to unplug. Once upon a time, we lived in a world where cell phones did not exist. What would it be like if you weren’t readily available for everyone else? Being “on call” can feed anxious thoughts. The world will keep spinning even if you don’t respond to that text. What if you allowed things around you to happen without you interfering or constantly knowing what is going on in everyone else’s life? While social media has it’s benefits, it also feeds the tendency to compare your life to someone else’s. Remember what you see online is an edited, filtered avatar. No one’s life is perfect.
  6. Finally, applaud yourself for small victories. Did you schedule a Dr.’s appointment? Walk the dog? Pick up groceries for the week? Take the stairs? Go you! Celebrating these accomplishments can shift your mindset to a more positive one.

Further Reading

The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown

More about imposter syndrome

Benefits of Hugging 

Filed Under: Child, cognitive behavioral therapy, mental health, Mind Body Connection, Mindfulness, Self Awareness, self-esteem, Therapy, Thoughts, Uncategorized Tagged With: authentic Self, mental health, perfectionism, self care, self compassion, self esteem, wellness

10 things you can do today for increased happiness

March 16, 2017 by Meghan Renzi

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happiness?

As a therapist, I often hear clients of all ages tell me: “I want to feel happier”. Many are struggling with symptoms of depression or anxiety, and some are having trouble accepting their current circumstances. I have to ask: “What would happy feel like?”. A lot of people have trouble answering this question. Happiness can mean different things for different people. When I think of happiness, words like joy, gratitude, and contentment come to mind. While this is my conception of the word, it may not be another’s. As a cognitive behavioral therapist, I help my clients explore their own thinking patterns, while also dissecting how those patterns impact behavior. As a yoga teacher, I also have to explore the mind-body connection.

Below is a list of ten simple tools you can incorporate into your daily life to improve your mood, and set you on your path to happiness:

  1. Refraining from complaining– Pause and ask yourself “Am I living in the problem? Or am I living in the solution?”. Feeding the problem will only make it bigger. What does feeding the problem look like? Complaining to other people, and wallowing in self-pity. We have all been there. Rather than turning to negative thinking and adding to the problem, focus on being in the solution. Being solution oriented means asking for help, being willing to take suggestions, and taking small steps toward change.
  2. Mind your body– Pay attention to your habits. What are you feeding your body? Are you hydrated? Are you exercising? All of these factors have a huge impact on mood. Avoid processed foods and start carrying a water bottle. Start an exercise routine, and this doesn’t mean you have to wake up at 5 AM or join an overpriced gym. Schedule a walk outside with a friend or make time to practice some yoga at home. Also, take care of any pain or chronic health issues by consulting with your primary care physician.
  3. Stop comparing– Teddy Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy”. First of all, no two people are exactly alike. As an identical twin, I should know. So why do we constantly compare ourselves to others? Everyone has their own unique story and a different set of problems. Do not fall into the comparison trap. Comparing yourself to another person is a futile exercise.
  4. Say “yes” and say “no”- Say “yes” to the things you enjoy and surround yourself with people who lift you up. Be open to new experiences even if they seem scary at the time—this is how we grow, and get happier. Say “no” to the things you cannot fit into your schedule and to people who drain you of energy.
  5. Avoid mind wandering– Sometimes, when we let our negative thinking take over, we can end up overthinking and spiraling into unpleasant stories. Our minds are designed to scan for threats. So how do we enjoy our lives despite this negativity bias? One way is to try to stay more present for your life. This could mean having a daily meditation practice, pausing to notice your breath or simply doing one thing at a time.
  6. Check your “emotional hygiene”– Watch how you talk to yourself. Negative self-talk can hugely impact mood. What does negative self-talk look like? “I am a loser”, “No one will ever ask me out”, and “I will never be happy with the way I look”. Just like we have to clean our bodies and watch what we eat, we also should be watching what we feed our minds. Positive affirmations and a daily gratitude practice can be a great way to counter negative self-talk.
  7. Gratitude- As stated above, a daily gratitude practice has been linked with happier lives in general and can be a great tool to counter negative self-talk. Your gratitude practice could be writing down 5 things you are grateful for, telling your support people that you are thankful for their presence or taking the time to thank your god/higher power/deity/universe when something good happens.
  8. Get outside-There is a reason a lot of hospitals use pictures of nature and plants to add to the decor. Because research shows that being outside in nature can have a positive impact on mood. Studies indicate that spending time in nature can combat rumination- repetitively or obsessively thinking about one’s negative feelings.
  9. Make sure you are getting enough sleep- I shared this in a previous blog post, and if you don’t believe me, you can google it. Sleep impacts mood. The CDC recommends 8 to 10 hours of sleep for adolescents and at least 7 hours of sleep for adults. If you are not getting enough sleep, you are going to be tired, irritable and feel drained. Because sleep directly affects your mood, it can have a significant impact on your personal pursuit of happiness
  10. Self-soothe- Finally, give yourself some love. Why? Because you are worth it! Take a bath, listen to a guided meditation, read a book, smell some essential oils or book a massage. Make it a routine and if you have to- put a reminder on your phone.

Remember if you are struggling with a mental health diagnosis always consult with a mental health professional. If you are having thoughts of suicide, call 911 or go to your nearest Emergency Room.

For further reading, check out the resources below.

TED Radio Hour- Simply Happy.

http://www.npr.org/programs/ted-radio-hour/267185371/simply-happy

CDC’s recommendations for sleep by age group.

https://www.cdc.gov/sleep/about_sleep/how_much_sleep.html

Standford News- how nature decreases depression.

http://news.stanford.edu/2015/06/30/hiking-mental-health-063015/

 

Filed Under: mental health, Mind Body Connection, Mindfulness, Self Awareness, Thoughts Tagged With: cognitive behavioral therapy, happiness, self care, self-talk

New Years Resolution- Get more sleep!

December 28, 2016 by Meghan Renzi

Moving into the new year, you are probably hearing resolutions about eating healthy, losing weight or exercising more. While diet and exercise are important, one wellness area that most teens and adults tend to overlook is sleep. We forget that sleep is one of our most basic human needs. Your body needs sleep in order to function properly. Most adults need at least 7-9 hours of sleep, while teens need 8-10 hours.

Here are a few simple tips that I have found to be helpful for both myself and my clients to ensure a better night’s sleep:

    1. Make sure your bedroom is a place for rest. Feng Shui teachings advise keeping anything work related (homework, computers, etc) out of the bedroom. Why? So that your bedroom is an environment conducive to sleep–not work. On that note, unplug! Put the phone, iPad, and laptop on the other side of the room. Electronics can be a major distraction to both kids and adults. Also, decluttering your bedroom can be a great way to create a more peaceful space.
    2. Give your body some time to slow down. Avoid vigorous exercise at least 2 hours before bedtime and steer clear of caffeinated beverages in the afternoon.
    3. Bring it back to your five senses:

Sight:

Darkness is key. Research shows that darkness induces melatonin production. Melatonin is a hormone that helps control your sleep and wake cycles. You can use an eye mask or purchase blackout curtains for the bedroom to ensure complete darkness.

Sound:

Some people sleep better in silence, others may relax to the sound of white noise or a fan. Calming music with no words can help lull you to sleep. If your phone is not too much of a distraction, there are some helpful apps that use guided imagery and sounds to calm your mind (“insight timer” and “relax melodies” are great).

Touch:

Invest in something soothing to the touch- silky PJ’s, a soft blanket or special sheets. Make your bed a comfy place to be. Also be sure the temperature is right for you. Everyone is different. Some prefer to cooler temperatures and other people enjoy the comfort of a heated blanket. Find what works for you!

Taste:

Try drinking a warm beverage before bed. Hot (non-caffeinated) tea or warm milk with honey can have a relaxing effect on your body. Several foods can naturally increase melatonin production including tart cherry juice and bananas.

Smell:

Finally, my personal favorite way to unwind and relax, essential oils!! Lavender, Chamomile, Bergamot, Sweet Orange and Ylang Ylang are a few of my favorites. Essential oils can be added to water in a diffuser or you can simply rub some on your temples or under your nose before bed. 

See what works for you and let me know what you think!

Schedule your free 20-minute phone consultation today to see if you or your child could benefit from the extra support that therapy can provide.

For further reading on sleep, check out this TED talk https://www.ted.com/talks/jeff_iliff_one_more_reason_to_get_a_good_night_s_sleep

Tips on sleep hygiene from American Sleep Association https://www.sleepassociation.org/patients-general-public/insomnia/sleep-hygiene-tips/

 

Filed Under: mental health, Mind Body Connection, Mindfulness, parenting, sleep, teens, Uncategorized Tagged With: adolescents, children, mindfulness, parenting teens, sleep hygiene

Dealing with stress

September 15, 2016 by Meghan Renzi

slide4B&WBack to school time got you stressed? Fall can be a busy time for everyone, whether or not you have kids or are a kid! Traffic gets worse, fickle weather, and people are generally doing more.

Here are a few tips to help keep things in perspective!

Oftentimes when we feel overwhelmed, we tend to neglect our most basic human needs. If you are feeling a sense of impending doom or things are getting to be too much, pause and check your body.

Ask yourself these questions:

Am I hydrated? According to the Mayo Clinic, even mild dehydration can leave your body feeling tired. Drinking water is one of the best ways to ensure that you are hydrated, but remember that other beverages and foods (mainly fruits and vegetables) also contain water and contribute to hydration.

Am I hungry? I get it. Sometimes when I’m “in the zone” I forget to eat. For me personally, I have to keep snacks with me at all times. Try keeping a jar of peanut butter at your desk, or a granola bar in your purse.  Even just downing some crackers or a cheese stick can really change your perspective. Although it is tempting, try to avoid candy, soda, and over-snacking.

Am I tired? The sad truth is that most of us don’t get enough sleep. We live in a society where productivity is encouraged, which often sends us the subtle message that our basic human needs are not important. According to The National Sleep Foundation, growing teens need 8-10 hours of sleep. Adults need 7-9 hours. Remember Abraham Maslow from Psych 101? He classified sleep as one of our most basic needs, along with food and water. It is a need, not a want people! So whether you feel the urge to pull an all nighter studying, stay up late binge watching Netflix, or party ’til the sun comes up—remember your body needs sleep to function and you will be feeling it the next day!

Consider the big picture. Take a moment to pause. Maybe take a walk outside, look at the trees, look at the sky. There is a great big world out there. Ask yourself: “how important is this issue in the grand scheme of things?” Ask yourself: “will this be haunting me 1 year from now?” Answering these questions truthfully will really help you keep things in perspective.

Another important thing to consider: Are you in the problem or are you in the solution? Go for a walk, call a friend, listen to your favorite song or podcast, read something inspirational, or have a snack. When I focus on the problem, the problem gets bigger. When I am doing solution oriented things, I don’t have to live in the problem. Sometimes the best thing to do is to “get out of the way” and focus on something productive. Things will often work themselves out.

 

Filed Under: Mind Body Connection, Mindfulness, Self Awareness, Thoughts Tagged With: back to school, distress tolerance, human needs, hydration, living in the solution, mind body connection, mindfulness, negativity bias, sleep, stress, stress management, therapy, thought patterns

Meghan Renzi,
LCSW-C, LICSW

Therapy & Mindfulness Practices LLC



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